the best tumblr has to offer
yahoo paid $1.1 billion for this
(Source: fuck-this-imhungry)
Best Vines of May 2013 (Part 1)
WHAT THE FUCk
I JUST PISSED MYSLEFOH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH ytreoighnjsdktfdi87fvjserytyuoklidf
(Source: nsfwhumor)
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom
BEST MOM
I’m crYING
he looks like a joint
what the fuck kind of joints do you roll
what if with our first clot of air when we are born we inhale a soul, and every time we breathe out, we squeeze a tiny part of our souls out. would our final breath actually be the very last soul fragment leaving our bodies?
Woah woah wait
you know those things that say “you become like the 5 people you hang out with the most”
that would explain why, because you would actually be inhaling little parts of them over time
Oh my god
In an old house in Paris that was covered in vines, lived 12 little girls in two straight lines.
Can we just take a second and appreciate whoever wrote all those succinct, concise, badass rhymes for Madeline
This is a useful resource…
(Source: inthepitofmystomach)
if you close your eyes right before the train hits, your brain will think that you have died. some people find calmness in this.
I feel nothing
whoa there satan
(Source: dodsrike)
